What Time Is It Eccles?

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What Time Is It Eccles?

The Goons - What Time is it Eccles? (1957)
The classic Goon Show bit, with subtitles

Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles?
 
Eccles: Err, just a minute. I've got it written down on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
 
Bluebottle: Ooooh, then why do you carry it around with you Eccles?
 
Eccles: Welll, um, if a anybody asks me the time, I can show it to dem.
 
Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man.
 
Eccles: What is it fellow?
 
Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.
 
Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right, um, when I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.
 
Bluebottle: Well then. Supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?
 
Eccles: Well den, I don't show it to 'em.
 
Bluebottle: Ooohhh.
 
Eccles: [smacks lips] yeah.
 
Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?
 
Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper.
 
Bluebottle: Ohh, I wish I could afford a piece of paper with the time written on.
 
Eccles: Oohhhh.
 
Bluebottle: 'Ere Eccles?
 
Eccles: Yah.
 
Bluebottle: Let me hold that piece of paper to my ear would you? 'Ere. This piece of paper ain't goin'
 
Eccles: What? I've been sold a forgery.
 
Bluebottle: No wonder it stopped at eight o'clock.
 
Eccles: Oh dear.
 
Bluebottle: You should get one of them tings my Grandad's got.
 
Eccles: Oooohhh.
 
Bluebottle: His firm give it to him when he retired.
 
Eccles: Oooohhh.
 
Bluebottle: It's one of dem tings what it is that wakes you up at eight o'clock, boils the kettul, and pours a cuppa tea.
 
Eccles: Ohhh yeah. What's it called? Um.
 
Bluebottle: My Granma.
 
Eccles: Ohh. Ohh, wait a minute. How does she know when it's eight o'clock.
 
Bluebottle: She's got it written down on a piece of paper

Bluebottle and Eccles [click for larger]
just what is Eccles going to do with that hammer?

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